Saturday, May 16, 2009

Imitation Is The Sincerest Form of Flattery

Huh. So we put up What is and Infidel" and Planck's Constant posts "You Might Be A Taliban if"

(oh, relax, I'm only busting on them)

You might be Taliban if:


Your home doesn't have drapes, but your camel does.

You can't have sex with your first wife until she turns 13.

You have at least four brothers named Mohammed.

You refine heroin for a living, but have a "moral objection" to beer.

You own a $500 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.

You believe masturbation is evil but beating your wife is OK.

Your mother would be happier if you blew up into a million pieces.

You have more wives than teeth.

You think vests come in two styles, bullet proof and suicide.

You'll kill anyone that says you’re not peaceful.

You wear eyeliner but you have been acquitted at least once for murdering your wife, sister, or daughter because they wore makeup.

You can't think of anyone you haven't declared jihad against.

You consider television and video games dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your underwear.

You consider US soldiers uncivilized for dropping the Quran but you have no problem throwing acid in your wife's face if she asks for a divorce.You are amazed to discover that cellphones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.

You’ve ever uttered the phrase "I love what you’ve done with this cave".

Your lifetime goal is to die.

You’ve ever had a crush on your neighbor’s goat.

You wipe your ass with your bare hand, but consider bacon unclean.

5 comments:

nunya said...

*You're married to your half-sister

*You're married to your other half-sister

*Your half-sisters/wives no longer have clitorises

*You're on food stamps but you have zakat money to fund jihad

*You have millions of strains of foot fungus on your hands and face but you think that shaking hands with women is dirty

*You have to leave the country to find someone with whom you have less than 50% consanguinity in common

*Your mother writes your initials on the inside of your exploding underwear

*You're a dude wearing a burka

*You have more kids than you do teeth

*You call meetings with terrorists 'khutbas'

*You sign up for Facebook to hate on Joooos

*You carry signs saying that the police are terrorists right before you throw a firework at them

*You carry signs saying that Jews are Nazis but pray for Jewish genocide five times a day

*You denounce Zionism as 'racist' but you fund the genocide in Darfur

*You claim that Israel is an apartheid state but you're okay with Saudi........everything

*You call yourself 'African' so as to not be associated with Saudis but you abduct and kill the only native Africans left in your country

*You think that the sky is solid but you get on a plane to blow up buildings

*You petition for Islamic education but whine about being oppressed when your kids don't qualify for trade school

*You find beheading videos and kiddie porn erotic but you are offended by a cross

*You see a pretty woman and wonder how much her father would charge for her

*You have furniture but you eat dinner on the floor

*You find infidel inventions like CNN and the polio vaccine to be offensive, but encrypting terrorist communiques into kiddie porn is fine by you

Many more here.

Rebellious Kafir said...

"You wipe your ass with your bare hand, but consider bacon unclean." Seriously? Bare as in no toilet paper? Oh that's just disgusting...ugh.

nunya said...

Toilet paper is 'oppression' in the Islamic mindset, IMI. Search for 'istinjaa.' And never shake hands with a Mohammedan. Even if they wash their hands they're still covered with mosque foot fungus.

Rebellious Kafir said...

"No one shall make "Estinjaa" without using three stones" (Muslim: 2622)

http://www.themodernreligion.com/basic/charac/essays_Bathroom_Etiquette.htm

...and that's all I have to say about that...

bernieg1 said...

Yes, I'm flattered, thanks for the mention, it's appreciated.