Tuesday, May 06, 2014

Why I predict Dan Slott will join the Satmar in the future

So a few weeks ago, Dan Slott tried to lecture about why the Muslim Ms. Marvel was perfectly acceptable. And he also posted the following tweet:

Meeting more people is exactly what I can see Slott doing, and a very shady bunch too at that. Let's look into the crystal ball kindly provided by my fellow Philadelphia native, Dr. Stephen Strange, and learn why Slott, often proclaiming he's a Jew but not particularly respecting his background, is bound to become an insular Haredi, and join some of the most awful and pretentious of such clans, the Satmar!

Before I continue, I'd like to note that I'm the kind of Jew who believes there should be some distinction between Jewish race and its similarly named religion; there is a difference. That said, if Slott's not a religious man and is looking for just the religious movement that suits him, I figure he'll end up joining Satmar because a]the Conservative Judaism movement's name isn't acceptable to him, b] nor is the Reconstructionist, because he's a deconstructionist, if you've seen his awful work on Spider-Man, c]the Reform movement is just too weak by today's standards for his tastes, and d]the Lubavich movement, though mainly Haredi, is too respectable for him too. That's why I predict, if there's any group of Judaists he'll end up joining, it's the Satmar. I've seen at least one picture of Slott with a beard, and it's not too hard to envision him growing one again and donning a black hat and suit to boot. And why will he join the Satmar? It's because of the similarities they bear to some of his left-wing views, as I'll explain below:
Not only that, some Haredi sects with similar views to Satmar have taken up customs similar to Islam, as seen in these pictures below:


I can see in the crystal ball what Slott's thinking now: "yes, that's it! I will join the Satmar! Their views coincide with mine, and I'll get all the welfare I want! Ordinarily, Orthodox Judaism sucks, but this take on it meets my beliefs perfectly! It's much better than Reform Judaism too, because they're just too wimpy! Gahahaha!"

Soon, Slott's loyalists will also join him in his new venture, such as this fine fellow, who tweeted the following response to my previous post:

I'm sure he'd make a very good Haredi member of Satmar, because they've incorporated a lot of the same tactics as communists. Heck, if communism today had an office building, the Satmar would be right on the first floor, easy to reach! Soon, we will see various, mainly male members of Slott's own cultists joining these Haredi sects as insular as they already are, wearing funny black hats and growing funny beards, adhering to a throughly corrupted take on Judaism while living off welfare at the expense of society, including many Jews better educated than they are, in complete contradiction of what Judaism is all about. That's what happens when you have insular basement dwellers who aren't well informed - they eventually go on to become even more hermetic. And that's where Dan Slott is eventually headed too, thus, I may have exaggerated a wee bit when I said I don't see much future for him after comic books. There is, it's just not a very positive one. In fact, it's a very dreadful one. No wonder I feel sorry for him.

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